Saturday, October 5, 2013

Why having a doctor that supports your parenting choices is so important

When Emma was born because of the circumstances surrounding her birth I didn't have a pediatrician picked out. Our first one was chosen because of how close he was to our house. We kept him for a few years and through all of Emma's SPD diagnosis because he was supportive and truly cared about Emma. He was also one of the pediatric interns who was present at my birth (I was a 32 week preemie). All of these reasons made us stay with him even though it was a fight every time I wanted to delay a vaccine or bed sharing was brought up.

Then Jack was born, circumcised because I didn't know better and again with the vaccines and bed sharing argument. When jack was 10 months old he had a fever for 48 hours for no apparent reason, I decided to take him to urgent care just to get him checked out since it was Saturday and his fever was around 103-104 and was not going away. That was the day we met our doctor. I will never forget how she walked in the room saw me nursing jack and said how much it made her miss her nursling who was the same age. SOLD! 

The appointment was the best experience I've ever had with any of my 4 kids in 21 years as a mother. She was patient, kind and encouraged us to co sleep and nurse to help him feel better. He did have an ear infection and offered a wait and see with the antibiotics. Which she still does every time. She hugged me and snuggled jack before we left. I cried and asked if she was taking new patients. She said yes but that she was a little farther away from us, I said okay I don't care how far you are and switched immediately. 

Being an attached parent can make dealing with doctors a huge challenge and a lot of AP avoid things like well check ups and routine visits. I would encourage you to research doctors avaliable to you. Here are some questions to ask when finding the right pediatrician. 

1. Do they encourage extended breastfeeding? 

2. Will they support delayed/ selective vaccination? What if you choose no vaccines? 

3. How do they feel about bed sharing? CIO? 

4. What if I don't want to start solids at 4 months, 6 months or even longer? What about BLW? 

5. circumsion is always important to ask about before your child is born ( my biggest mistake )

6. Antibiotics, are they a pill pusher? I hate this term but some doctors are just that.

7. Do they support letting your child develop in his own time? Not stressing you out if you have a late crawler, walker, talker etc..

Are they kind or do they have a matter of fact attitude? So many of the doctors I've met are so business like its hard to get a smile out of them. Having a doctor that supports my choices and offers gentle advice if she disagrees has changed the way we view going to the doctor. We always look forward to seeing her ( which is often with all of jack's ear issues and Emma's SPD ). 

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