Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The sleep wars

   My 5 year old has a diagnosed sleep disorder that for years meant little sleep for her and I. She only slept 6 hours a night for almost 3 1/2 years until we discovered melatonin. This gave us back our lives and it felt good to sleep. Then we had jack and he's a good sleeper once he's asleep. He's always been hard to get to sleep. Thankfully he still nurses to sleep..for now.

   During the 3+ years when Emma never slept my husband stayed up with her one night and was such a baby about it I never asked for help again. It was just assumed that sleep was my area of parenting because out of the two of us I have the best opportunity for a nap. Never happens but I guess the chance of a nap happening means I get to be the one who gets up with the kids. 

   Where the war begins is most nights as we are cuddling the kids before bed he falls asleep. Around 8:00-8:30, then I carry the kids to their beds or stay up with Jack if he's still up. Then I just get frustrated and go to bed. I keep track of every time he does this and hold it over his head. Not nice I know but not all is fair in parenting and sleep. So what I'm trying to do lately is let all of this anger and resentment over how much more sleep he gets then me go. Easier said than done but I'm willing to let this go to keep the peace, would you? 

   Being a mom I realize that sleep is a sacrifice I must make at times. But am I the only one who thought hey this person helped me make this little person why do they get to sleep?!? Here is a little secret I've discovered. Most babies that wake to nurse will not wake if the mom isn't in the bed. So if I really need a break I go sleep on the couch and my hubby sleeps with the kids. And they don't wake up for him..interesting. I've only done this once but I know other mamas who have said if their nursling can't smell them they sleep longer. 

I should also add he sleeps in an extra hour later than me everyday. He gets up and gets coffee says hi to the kids and goes back to bed. Swallow, breathe, swallow bigger and let go. My children deserve a peaceful home not a war zone. 

#cosleeping #attachmentparenting #marriage #sleep #whoneedssleep

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