Self care is so much easier said than done, I used to laugh when other mamas would tell me to take some time for myself. When would I do this? I can't leave the room for 5 seconds without chaos breaking out. BUT I have learned that if the kids are in a safe space it's OKAY to walk away for a few minutes and collect your thoughts and just breathe. This looks different for all of us and can be anything from 30 seconds in the bathroom alone with chocolate (I've done this) to letting them get crazy while you catch up with a friend on the phone for 30 minutes. Letting go is my biggest struggle, what if the house gets really messy, what if they cry? what if they fight? I could go on and on..I see things all the time that list off things to do to take a break and they usually look like this.
The best way I've found is to have an emergency stash of chocolate and wine. No joke a tiny sip of wine with a piece of chocolate can get me through several hours of being alone with the kids. The other thing I wish someone had told me is that walking away from a crying baby is okay, it's not the same as leaving them to cry it out. A screaming baby can drive the most gentle person to crazytown in about 10-15 minutes. Find a safe place (crib or play and pack) give baby a kiss and go take a minute to calm down and just regroup. After you are calm go back and give your renewed self to taking care of your baby. Then make a self care plan for yourself. Whatever it looks like for you is alright. Make it special and something you know will be there to help you in tough moments. I always keep my headphones close by with a calm playlist that I love ready to go. Music always helps my kids calm down and can save a really bad moment from becoming any worse. And last of all find your support. Here are some great pages that support attachment parenting.